What is my next step if my husband is planning on a divorce and fighting for custody?

UPDATED: Sep 12, 2010

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What is my next step if my husband is planning on a divorce and fighting for custody?

I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant- my husband is deployed overseas and is apparently pursuing a divorce when he comes back for the birth of our child. As far as I know he already has a lawyer and everything figured out on his part; apparently he wants to try to take custody of our son when he is born. We separated once before back in May of this year and it’s been made known to me that he has been planning on doing this since we reconciled in June. He wanted me to get an abortion in the beginning of our pregnancy and when I said no, thats when he changed. Just not sure where to go from here.

Asked on September 12, 2010 under Family Law, Illinois


M.T.G., Member, New York Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 12 years ago | Contributor

First of all try and be calm - I know it is difficult - but the health of you and the baby are really the most important thing right now.  And the impending birth can be overwhelming enough without this on top of it.  What you need to do is to go and get an attorney as soon as you can and discuss what your options are here under the law in your state, Generally, custody issues are determined to be whatever is in the best interests of the child.  From what little I know about your circumstances in the question, I strongly doubt that any Judge is going to give him custody being deployed and at this point in the baby's life.  Additionally, Judge's like when custody is shared in some way and there really has to be proof that one of the parties is unfit in some way to allow one party to have full custody.  And joint custody does not necessarily mean that he will be able to take the child away while deployed, so relax.  You can limit his ability to move with the child to a specific distance like 50 miles.  Good luck with the birth and congratulations.

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