Is it true that my child’s father will get custody because he’s in the military?

North Carolina, like many states, does not have an "automatic" custody rule.  Instead, they use a standard called the "best interest of the child" to determine who should be awarded custody.  They will consider things like income, ability to care for the child, history of adequate or inadequate care, history of abuse, collateral support (like family members near by), and any special needs of the child.  These are just some of the factors that the court can look at, but it's not the "whole list" and no one factor controls over the other.  The dad does have an argument about financial stability.  However, you have a counter argument that you have historically provided for the child, especially in periods when he was unavailable because of his career.  You chose stability for your child.  Flip this to your advantage.  If he is threatening court action soon, start now at developing other factors in your favor using some of the things listed above-- like the support of your family, things you do to help your child grow (ex:  every weekend we attend reading program at the library), flexibility with your employment, and witnesses who could testify regarding your parenting skills.  The best interst of the child is based on factors, so make your list as long as possible.  You may also want to start saving now for a family law attorney in the event that he does file suit.  Alternately, see if there are any legal services or legal aid organizations in your area that can or will help you at a reduced fee.