What to do if I’ve been married for 14 years and my wife does not want to be married to me anymore and told me thru text message and verbally to move out?

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What to do if I’ve been married for 14 years and my wife does not want to be married to me anymore and told me thru text message and verbally to move out?

She wnts e to rent n aprtment. We are nor argueing but all my friends are telling me that just moving out means abandonment from the family and that even though she doesnt seem to be that way, she could change if we get divorce and she could say I abanded my family and she could keep the house now when we file for divorce even though its in both our names. So basically I would not be entitled to nothing.

Asked on September 27, 2012 under Family Law, New York

Answers:

B.H.F., Member, Texas State Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 9 years ago | Contributor

New York has only added "no-fault" divorces in the last two, but many spouses rely on "abandonment" as a grounds for divorce in order to try to get a "leg up" in the divorce.  Essentially, the argument is that because he abandoned me I should be awarded a greater share of the martial estate.  It sounds like she is very politely setting you up.  Before you move out, visit with a family law attorney.  You may even want to be the one that files for divorce.  Then... have the attorney draw up a separation agreement wherein you and her agree that you should move out.  This is a huge difference than you just leaving on your own--- this now puts it in a category of a negotiated resolution-- which cannot be used against you.  In fact, the agreement would be a good faith demonstration to the judge that you are trying to make this difficult situation as easy as possible.  Just because she wants th divorce doesn't mean that you have to loose everything. 


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