Does an extramarital affair have an impact on custody?

UPDATED: Jul 13, 2023Fact Checked

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Jeffrey Johnson

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Jeffrey Johnson is a legal writer with a focus on personal injury. He has worked on personal injury and sovereign immunity litigation in addition to experience in family, estate, and criminal law. He earned a J.D. from the University of Baltimore and has worked in legal offices and non-profits in Maryland, Texas, and North Carolina. He has also earned an MFA in screenwriting from Chapman Univer...

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UPDATED: Jul 13, 2023

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UPDATED: Jul 13, 2023Fact Checked

An extramarital affair might have an impact on child custody, but only if it in some way impacts the court’s determination regarding what is in the best interests of the child. An extramarital affair alone will not disqualify you from obtaining child custody or visitation, but it will not help you convince the court that you are a solid, stable, and responsible parent.

Understanding the Custody Determination


A child custody determination is made by the court based on one thing only—the best interests of the child. There are, however, a number of different factors that the court uses to determine what the best interests of the child are. These factors may include:

  • Who has acted as the primary caregiver for the child. If either parent has, the court may be more likely to award primary custody to that parent, so as to avoid an interruption in the child’s routine.
  • Which parent, if any, is most willing to facilitate the possibility that the child may maintain a relationship with the other parent, the extended families on both sides, and the community where the child grew up.
  • The ability of each respective parent to provide a safe, supportive, loving and nurturing environment for the child.

Adultery and  Child Custody


Having an extramarital affair is not a factor considered in its own right, but it does go into the courts assessment of these other factors. For example, if you engaged in an affair that embarrassed the child in some way or that otherwise indicates that you were putting your own needs and desires above the needs of the child, this can be used as evidence against your fitness as a parent.

Further, if you are cohabitating with a significant other during the divorce process or during a custody dispute, the court will also look at whether this impacts the stability of your home and will consider the relationship of the child with the person whom you are living with.

Getting Help


Because there are many different factors that go into a determination of child custody, it is important for you to think carefully before you act. It is also important for you to have a child custody lawyer advising you throughout the child custody process so you can make sure you don’t do anything to jeopardize your right to spend time with your children.

Case Studies: Impact of Extramarital Affairs on Child Custody

Case Study 1: Demonstrating Lack of Commitment and Stability

Sarah and Michael are going through a divorce after Sarah discovered Michael’s extramarital affair. They have two children, ages 5 and 8. During the custody proceedings, Sarah argues that Michael’s affair demonstrates a lack of commitment and stability, which could negatively impact the children’s well-being.

The court takes into consideration the emotional impact on the children and determines that Sarah should have primary custody, with Michael having visitation rights.

Case Study 2: Isolated Incident vs. Parenting Capabilities

David and Emily are in the midst of a custody dispute following their separation. Emily had an extramarital affair, which David believes is evidence of her poor judgment and ability to provide a stable environment for their children. However, Emily argues that the affair was an isolated incident and not indicative of her parenting capabilities.

The court considers the affair but also examines other factors such as each parent’s relationship with the children, their living arrangements, and their ability to meet the children’s emotional and physical needs. Ultimately, the court decides that the affair, while regrettable, does not significantly impact Emily’s ability to share custody of the children.

Case Study 3: Introduction of New Partner and Stability

John and Lisa have been living separately for several months, and both have started new relationships. Lisa’s new partner has moved in with her, and they plan to marry soon. John is concerned that the introduction of a new partner into Lisa’s home might disrupt the stability of their children’s lives.

The court evaluates the situation, considering the nature of Lisa’s relationship, the children’s relationship with the new partner, and the overall impact on their well-being. The court may order additional evaluations or counseling to assess the situation further before making a custody determination.

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Jeffrey Johnson

Insurance Lawyer

Jeffrey Johnson is a legal writer with a focus on personal injury. He has worked on personal injury and sovereign immunity litigation in addition to experience in family, estate, and criminal law. He earned a J.D. from the University of Baltimore and has worked in legal offices and non-profits in Maryland, Texas, and North Carolina. He has also earned an MFA in screenwriting from Chapman Univer...

Insurance Lawyer

Editorial Guidelines: We are a free online resource for anyone interested in learning more about legal topics and insurance. Our goal is to be an objective, third-party resource for everything legal and insurance related. We update our site regularly, and all content is reviewed by experts.

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