Can I get custody if both my children want to live with me?

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Can I get custody if both my children want to live with me?

My husband and I seperated 3 1/2 years ago. My daughter went to live with him and my son stayed with me, by their choice. Now both my kids want to leave with me permanently because their dad is emotionally abusive towards them. I’m going to try and ask him for custody but I know he will say no because he does not want to have to pay me child support. Do I have any chance of getting custody of my daughter if she wants to live with me? My daughter is 14 and my son is 12 and I thought they were allowed to decide for themselves. Is this true? And what happens if their dad says no?

Asked on August 18, 2011 Washington

Answers:

M.D., Member, California and New York Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 12 years ago | Contributor

You will have to go back to court and file to re-open your custody case. Custody arrangements can me modified based on changed circumstances. However a minor child cannot simply choose with which parent they want to live. The court will look as certain factors in making its decision - home environment, income and education of the parents, the child's relationship with each parent and extended family, reason for wanting the change, etc. 

Yet, while a child cannot outright choose where they want to live, if they over the age of 12, their preference is given consideration and is one of the factors taken into consideration by the judge. And the older the child, the more weight it is given.


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