Can an ex-fiance go to court to get the ring back?

UPDATED: Jul 12, 2023Fact Checked

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Jeffrey Johnson

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Jeffrey Johnson is a legal writer with a focus on personal injury. He has worked on personal injury and sovereign immunity litigation in addition to experience in family, estate, and criminal law. He earned a J.D. from the University of Baltimore and has worked in legal offices and non-profits in Maryland, Texas, and North Carolina. He has also earned an MFA in screenwriting from Chapman Univer...

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UPDATED: Jul 12, 2023

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UPDATED: Jul 12, 2023Fact Checked

Whether you have to return a wedding ring if the wedding is called off depends on where you live and under what circumstances the ring came into your possession. It may also depend on who broke the engagement.

In the convoluted world of domestic relations, perhaps nothing is more confusing than the so-called “heart balm” statutes that were made the law in each of the various states, and then abolished more than a half century ago to be replaced with a hodgepodge of custom and modernity.

For the past 30 years, at least in New York, persons not under any impediment to marry have had the right to recover property given in contemplation of a marriage that didn’t occur.

But in California, the courts have long called the gift of an engagement ring “implied conditional,” and require its return on the breaking of the engagement by the recipient of the gift. However, if the man breaks the engagement, he cannot obtain the ring.

Engagement rings differ from other rings or jewelry in a number of states, which clearly are gifts that have no relationship to a marriage. And, if the relationship breaks up and the man wants it back, he must be prepared to lose the argument and to have no legal redress.

Other typical engagement gifts that are given by the intended to the beloved are treated the same way as state law treats the engagement ring.

When a marriage breaks up, there is a divorce, and the laws of all 50 states are geared to deal with it. An engagement breakup is less typical, and causes more headaches precisely because the parties frequently have no agreement that defines their rights.

There are a number of cases in which a married man, awaiting dissolution of a prior marriage, has become involved with a prospect for the position soon to be opening up, and gives an “engagement” ring to seal the transaction. If the relationship sours, the man cannot obtain the ring back since he lacked the legal right to enter the contract in the first place–because he was still married.

It’s not the “right” emotional way to begin a marriage or an engagement, but if there is a valuable heirloom that you are planning to give your beloved, you may want to obtain a prenuptial agreement in which the disposition of this or other property is made clear should the marriage or the engagement sour, or if there is a problem in the short term following the marriage.

A prenuptial agreement is something that every contemporary couple planning to marry ought to carefully consider. It outlines certain rights, creates certain liabilities, but most important, sets forth what each party entering into matrimony expects of the other. It may sound callous, and may not be for everyone, but if the assets of the parties are sufficient, it is in the interest of both to do so while their heads are clear, and before the parties plan a life together.

If the assets aren’t substantial, but the issues are the same, the parties can draw up a letter of agreement on their own: “We agree that in the event that the marriage does not take place that the following is the disposition of gifts received, including the engagement ring.”

Caution should always be exercised with antenuptial agreements, which are similar to prenuptial agreements but created after the marriage. The reason: courts are reluctant to enforce them in the first place, and will construe them strictly against the draftsperson.

Case Studies: Recovery of Engagement Rings

Case Study 1: State Law Governing Engagement Rings

John and Emily were engaged to be married, but their relationship ended before they could tie the knot. John demanded the return of the engagement ring he had given to Emily, valuing it at a significant amount. However, the laws in their state treated engagement rings as “implied conditional” gifts and required their return in case of a broken engagement, regardless of who ended the relationship. Emily had to return the ring to John, as dictated by state law.

Case Study 2: Engagement Ring as a Conditional Gift

Rachel and James had a similar situation where their engagement was called off. Rachel had received an expensive engagement ring from James, but she broke off the relationship. In their state, engagement rings were considered “implied conditional” gifts, and the recipient was obligated to return the ring if they were the ones ending the engagement. Since Rachel ended the relationship, she was required to return the ring to James.

Case Study 3: Lack of Legal Recourse

Sarah and Michael’s engagement ended on unfriendly terms. Sarah had received an engagement ring from Michael, but he was the one who called off the wedding. In their state, the law did not require the return of engagement rings when the man breaks the engagement. Although Michael wanted the ring back, Sarah legally retained possession of it, as she was not obligated to return it under the circumstances.

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Jeffrey Johnson

Insurance Lawyer

Jeffrey Johnson is a legal writer with a focus on personal injury. He has worked on personal injury and sovereign immunity litigation in addition to experience in family, estate, and criminal law. He earned a J.D. from the University of Baltimore and has worked in legal offices and non-profits in Maryland, Texas, and North Carolina. He has also earned an MFA in screenwriting from Chapman Univer...

Insurance Lawyer

Editorial Guidelines: We are a free online resource for anyone interested in learning more about legal topics and insurance. Our goal is to be an objective, third-party resource for everything legal and insurance related. We update our site regularly, and all content is reviewed by experts.

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